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Self-doubt is something that was too familiar in my life. It is one of the many reasons I put off a lot of my goals.
It kept me being afraid of doing things I really wanted to do.
I was a person who was very self-critical of myself.
I wanted everything I did to be perfect because if it wasn’t, then, what would everyone think?
Would they talk about me in a negative way? Or would they even care? Or is this even a goal that I can achieve?
My self-doubt came from my own insecurities of fear of judgment and a fear of failure.
I felt like everyone was watching what I did. But in reality, no one even cared.
I always needed validation from everyone else for everything I did.
I never took risks and never put any effort at really trying to accomplish anything because, in my mind, I was gonna fail at it anyway.
My negative thoughts would always tell me that “I wasn’t good enough” or “This will be another thing I fail at and won’t stick to”.
I had to learn to reprogram my mind and change my thoughts.
Self-doubt can definitely keep you stuck if you let it. It is defined as a lack of confidence in one’s abilities.
You don’t have faith in yourself.
According to Psychology Today, self-doubt doesn’t always mean you have low self-esteem but the two always seem to be smushed together as the same thing.
Constant self-doubt can negatively affect your life.
Keeping that self-doubt and constantly listening to your inner critic is like YOU being your biggest hater!
If you keep believing that you cannot actually accomplish your goals, you’ll never take consistent action, no matter how much you want it.
It starts with believing in ourselves.
What are some Examples of Self-Doubt?
Not Feeling Good Enough
With this, you may have trouble seeing the good things about yourself. You may overthink everything you do and every decision you make.
You will never feel satisfied with anything you do and always negatively criticize it.
Difficulty Making Decisions
I would always second guess myself and have a fear of making the wrong decision.
I would always want someone else’s opinions or to just make the decisions for me because I was never confident that I would make the right choice for something.
Procrastination
Procrastination is one of my biggest challenges. This along with my self-doubt caused me to never reach, or even start, any of my goals.
My self-doubt paralyzed me with fear only to lead to procrastination. Eventually, I would just give up altogether and never even pursue my dream.
Anxiety
Once in a while, everyone feels some level of anxiety. Anxiety can mean restlessness, nervousness, worry, or fear that can affect your day-to-day activities.
If this becomes recurring or overwhelming, please consider speaking with a therapist for help.
Low Self-Confidence
This could definitely be a two-way street. Low self-confidence can also cause self-doubt.
Focusing on your negatives and not your accomplishments and always comparing yourself and your work are sure to lead to this.
What Causes Our Self-Doubt?
Many factors can cause self-doubt. It can start in childhood and progress or it may start in adulthood. For me, self-doubt started as a teenager.
I never really knew how much I doubted myself and my decisions until becoming an adult. Some other common causes of self-doubt can include:
- Unhappy childhood or just the way you were raised
- Traumatic past relationsips
- Comparing yourself and your work to others
- Depression
- Past Negative Experiences
- Lack of self kindness
- Stressful life events
Whatever the cause of your self-doubt may be, it is standing in your way. You may have a hard time seeing and focusing on your good qualities.
It’ll make you unmotivated, you may keep telling yourself, ” I’ll never achieve my goals.” or that you’re not worthy enough for certain things. Soon, your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence will be at an all-time low.
When our self-doubt convinces us that we’re no good, it becomes ingrained in our minds. We start to believe that and eventually we stop making any effort to do anything.
How To Overcome Self-Doubt?
Know that your self-doubt didn’t happen overnight and it won’t go away overnight. And while you probably won’t escape it completely, you can significantly decrease it.
Like most things in life, consistency is key and it’ll also take commitment and patience to improve your self-doubt.
1. Acknowledge and give yourself credit for your accomplishments
No matter how big or small the accomplishment is, you did that!
Be proud and give yourself a pat on the back! It was hard work that you finished without giving up on it.
2. Use Affirmations
This is a powerful way to help reprogram the negative beliefs you may have about yourself in a more positive way.
I like to write mines on sticky notes and stick them to my bathroom mirror. So when I’m getting ready in the morning I can recite them.
3. Stop Procrastinating and just do it
This is what really led to me finally starting to get some things done.
I used to constantly make excuses on why I shouldn’t start something or why I couldn’t do it, until finally, I started saying “You know what, I’m just gonna do it and give it my all and if it doesn’t work out, then so be it, at least I tried!
Once I cut those negative thoughts out and just did it, I felt good about myself.
4. Stop Comparing!
If you keep comparing yourself to others then the doubt will constantly consume you. You are unique and no other person is like you! How can you focus on your work if you’re busy focusing on everyone else?
Try focusing on your strengths and accepting your flaws. It’s okay to view others as a source of inspiration but don’t let it become a competition.
When you feel like you want to start comparing your life to someone else’s, try starting a gratitude list or journal. Write down everything you are grateful for.
5. Be kind to yourself
It’s easier to be more compassionate and kind to others than it is to yourself. It’s not easy but, try changing your harsh inner critic to a more soft-spoken supportive voice.
Remind yourself of all your good qualities. Take time out each day to just be mindful of your thoughts and to focus on yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up if you fail at something or make a mistake. Practice positive self-talk and show some respect to yourself.
Final Thoughts
Overcoming self-doubt will no doubt be a journey! But by following this guide, find out the root cause of your self-doubt and use these tips to break the cycle.
Just believe in yourself and YOUR abilities. Be mindful of your thoughts and silence your harsh inner critic that says you aren’t good enough.
Identify your limiting beliefs and focus on your goals. Let go of excuses and just do it!
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