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How do you even begin to learn to love yourself again?
Before you even start to learn to love yourself again, I want you to know that self-love is a journey.
When you decide to go on your journey to love yourself again, it’ll definitely take some mental preparation before even starting.
You would first need to even know why you lack self-love in the first place. It would probably take some reevaluation of your life to really dig deep to find out those reasons.
For a long time, I didn’t even know I had a lack of self-love. I was always involved in toxic relationships.
Even though I knew the relationship was bad for me, I stayed in it because I didn’t want to be alone. I was super terrified of rejection.
I was such a people pleaser and always concerned about what other people thought of me.
Putting other people’s needs before my own just to make them happy even if I knew it would put me in a bind. It was hard for me to disappoint anyone.
I was always super hard and critical of myself. I blamed myself for anything that went wrong in my life because I was so super insecure.
My confidence was pretty much non-existent, I had really low self-esteem and was always feeling depressed and sorry for myself.
I gave up easily on things because I always doubted myself so I didn’t try hard to give anything any real effort.
It took me a long time to realize that these feelings weren’t normal and I was tired of feeling depressed. I wanted to be happy.
It wasn’t until I started questioning myself why I was the way I was. I started doing research online and reading other blogs and self-help books and came to the conclusion I had a lack of self-love.
I had to understand the reasons why I lacked self-love and learn how to love myself again.
Why don’t you love yourself?
There could be several reasons why you have a lack of self-love. Finding out the cause of those reasons will help you get to the real root of the problem.
Some causes could have stemmed from childhood, stressful or toxic relationships, poor treatment from others, or medical or mental problems.
Whatever the cause may be, you can learn to love yourself again.
How to Completely Attain Self-Love
You are an extraordinary being. No one is like you. You deserve to love yourself unconditionally.
Practicing self-love can be hard for a lot of us, especially if it’s been a while since we really accepted ourselves. Self-love doesn’t have to be self-absorbed or selfish.
Self-love is accepting and appreciating yourself for who you are. By definition, self-love is “regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.”
1. Stop Caring About Other People Opinions
For a long time, I would stop myself from pursuing something I wanted to do because of fear of being judged.
I was always thinking ” What would people say or think if I did this? “Don’t worry about what the world thinks of you.
You can’t make everyone happy. It’s a waste of time. This is something I had to learn eventually.
2. Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
This was a very bad habit of mines. I used to feel very insecure when I would look on social media and see other people living the life I wish I was living or having the confidence I wish I had.
When we compare ourselves to others, we quickly lose focus on ourselves and can lead to low confidence. We are all very unique in our own way. No one is like you.
Spend your energy focusing on yourself and your own path.
When you do this with intention, you will come to see great improvement in your life.
3. Start Putting Yourself First
For years I thought it was selfish of me to put myself first and focus on my own needs. As a mom and wife, I’m used to putting my family’s needs first and focusing on my needs last.
This is fine, though it should not be a habit that costs you your mental well-being. Find the time to unwind.
Discover what helps you find peace and devote time to this.
4. Let Go of Negative People in Your Life
Listen, I don’t care if it’s your mama or your grandma! If the relationship is toxic LET IT GO!
Keeping negative energy around is hazardous for your mental health and could be part of the reason why you lack self-love.
Try to surround yourself with friends or family with more positive vibes. If you don’t have anyone in your life then it’s time to go out and meet new people.
5. Cut Out Negative Self-talk
Negative self-talk can lead to self-doubt, low confidence, and stress. This is something I really had a hard time overcoming.
I find myself sometimes still having negative thoughts but I now know how to control my thoughts.
Try recognizing when you have negative thoughts and try to rephrase them to more positive self-talk.
I talk more about this topic in this article 14 tips to overcome negative thoughts for a happier life.
6. Celebrate All Your Achievements
I used to be really hard on myself and was never happy about the little goals I achieved. Nothing I did was ever good enough for me.
I always felt like a failure, which caused me to give up on things easily.
Celebrating your wins, whether big or small helps to improve positive self-esteem.
This helps you to be proud of yourself for accomplishing something you could have easily put off. Be happy for all the little achievements because they add up to be big.
7. Set Aside Days for Self-Care
Having a day to just relax or pamper yourself to recharge is important.
Self-care isn’t just about glitz and glam, also try to focus on your mental health and physical health as well.
Self-care allows you to have a healthy relationship with yourself. These are important aspects of self-care and play an important role in how to learn to love yourself again.
8. Make Mistakes
We continuously grow and learn from our mistakes. If we didn’t make mistakes what lessons would we learn in life?
Allowing yourself to make mistakes is essential for seeking self-improvement.
When you make mistakes, accept that you made a mistake, learn from it and use it for self-growth.
9. Learn To Accept Your Flaws
No one is perfect. Stop looking at yourself and only noticing what you hate but also focus on what you love about yourself.
Make a list of your strengths and things you are proud of. Start being kind to yourself and be your biggest supporter.
Doing this will help to improve and increase your self-confidence and love yourself unconditionally.
Last Thoughts
For me, starting a self-love journey and learning to truly start loving and accepting myself for who God created me to be was essential for my life.
I’ve learned to overcome insecurities, self-doubt, low self-esteem and increase my confidence.
At the beginning of your journey, really start by being easy on yourself.
Get to know yourself again, learn to let go of the past, focus on the present and look forward to the future.
Create a routine to be intentional about your self-love journey. Don’t give up so easily. You got this!
If you found this information helpful, please head over to my blog section and check out other posts you may find informative.
Thanks for your comment Mehtab! That is so true. Finding the source is the first step to starting your journey.
Self -love really is a journey and not an easy one because you have to ask yourself all the uncomfortable questions to fine the source for the lack of it. Really helpful post with some great Tipps.
Hi Netert! Thanks so much for your comment. Yes, it took me a while to start doing some of these things but they are very effective!
Very informative. I definitely have been working on a few things myself such as letting go of negative folks in my life, learning from mistakes and setting aside days for self-care. Great post! 😊