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Have you ever wondered what things would be like for you if you took the time to focus on yourself as a mom? One goal I set for myself this year was to make ME a priority. I wanted to start doing that by learning how to focus on myself.
As a mother of four and a wife, my time is pretty much divided between my husband and kids. I make sure they all have everything they need and everything is in line with them. That really doesn’t leave much time for me, but I used to tell myself, “as long as they are taken care of then I’m not gonna worry about myself. “
But that’s where I was wrong. As a mom, I needed to worry about myself too. I needed to make sure my needs were met and I needed to focus on myself sometimes. My family needed to understand why moms need alone time too.
I constantly put off and sacrificed things and goals I had in order to make sure my family’s needs were met.
I started feeling like I was lost and stuck and had no purpose, but to only cater to my family’s needs. My goals and plans were non-existent because something always came up with my husband or kids and it was my job to make sure everything was taken care of. It was my job to make sure everyone stayed on track with everything.
I knew I had to get myself back on track too in life. That’s when I decided it was time for me to make a shift. I need to start paying attention to my own needs.
Why do you need to focus on yourself as a mom?
1. It helps you get back to you
For me, I needed this to get back to my old self. I had dreams and goals I wanted to accomplish. I started to feel like I didn’t have a purpose and I didn’t want to feel like that anymore.
Everyone needs to take time for themselves. As moms, this gives you time to improve and better yourself. Start back living again and focusing on your goals and dreams again.
Also, you need that time for yourself to be happier for your family. With them seeing you happy and not stressed all the time, it eases their minds as well. It can be overwhelming being the person everyone in the house relies on.
Being a mom is an important job. And it’s one of the most wonderful jobs I’ve had in my life. But I still have hope and dreams, just like you. Sure, it can be difficult to find the time to start focusing on yourself but you have to make it!
2. great for your mental health
Like I said earlier, it can get overwhelming (the laundry alone gives me anxiety) and you can become stressed being the go-to person for everyone’s needs. You can and will eventually feel burnt out.
Taking the time for yourself is critical for us being a parent. Research shows that if we as moms don’t take alone time, it can mental health disturbances like depression, anxiety, burnout, and extreme stress.
We need our mental health to be in check in order to properly take care of our family. If we are suffering mentally then it will show in our parenting skills and affect our children.
3. happy mama, happy family
When you’re at your best then everyone in the house is, so it’s a win-win for everyone. Taking time to focus on yourself as a mom shows your family that mama has a life too. And that you have to prioritize yourself sometimes.
Giving yourself that time alone can help you find what brings you joy and makes you happy. You’ll be able to start doing more of whatever that newfound passion is.
could focusing on yourself be selfish?
Some people may think that taking time for yourself away from your family could be selfish. And, in some way, it could be. But for me, I think it’s not selfish but definitely worth it. It’s important to make yourself a priority.
It is important to find and keep a balance between time for yourself and family time. Keeping a balance or a schedule will be beneficial for the household. It helps everyone to know when mom is taking some time for herself and when she’ll be with the family.
Alone time is not a vacation away from your kids or an indulgence it’s a necessity! And you deserve it! Don’t feel guilty or don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about giving yourself this care.
how can you focus on yourself as a mom?
1. implement self-care days
Yes, this is the best way to start focusing on yourself again! Self-care is so important for women in general and definitely as a mom! This can really help you reenergize and be back on track to taking care of everyone else. Schedule a day once a week, once a month, or an hour a day. Whatever you feel you need to do. Whether your idea of self-care is being pampered or working on your mindset. There are plenty of self-care ideas for moms.
- Spa Day
- Lunch with Friends
- Hot bubble bath with candles
- Read a book
- Take a break from Social Media
- Recite Affirmations
- Go for a Walk
These are just to name a few ideas. The options are endless. Whatever you feel will help you relax or unwind and reenergize.
2. Work on goals/write new ones
Learning how to focus on yourself more is one step to bringing your goals to life. We all have goals. And we all want to be able to accomplish our goals. One of my biggest goals was to start this blog. This is something that I have wanted to do for a few years, but with work, kids, and a husband, I kept telling myself I didn’t have time for this because I was too busy.
I pushed it off for so long. Finally, I said to myself that I was going to start because it was something for me and it was important to me. I made the time to learn about blogging and finally started it.
I took time for myself to work towards my goals little by little. And eventually, I accomplished my goal of starting my blog. Then I was able to start working on new goals.
If you feel like you don’t have any goals, set new ones. It doesn’t have to be anything major. For example, if you feel like you want to start being more active, set a goal to take time to exercise. Maybe start with three days a week for 30 minutes. This gives you something for yourself and a goal to work towards.
3. Start a new hobby or pick back up an old one
Ok, so one of my hobbies that I loved doing was reading. I read all types of books. But as I got older, and especially after getting married and having kids, I found that I didn’t read as much as I used to.
I made a commitment to myself to start reading one book a month. Even if I read a chapter a day, I would finish that book in a month’s time and start a new book the following month.
I pick my old hobby back up and haven’t looked back since. Even if you never had a hobby, it is never too late to start one. Find something that you’re passionate about and go from there.
4. Work on your self-compassion
We’ve all been there and have had doubts that our parenting skills arent so great. Try being more kind to yourself. Hey, as long as your kids are fed, clean and alive, then you’re doing great!
Being a mom is hard and you can sometimes doubt your parenting skills and wonder if you’re doing it right. When you start to have doubt, just look at the children you’re raising and all of the great qualities that they learned from you being their mother.
5. Do Absolutely nothing
Yep, you heard me. Do nothing! And enjoy it. You deserve it! Take a day or a few hours to just Netflix and chill. Don’t worry about laundry. It’ll get done eventually.
Take this time to just daydream, think, or whatever it is you do when you do nothing! I have to say this is my favorite thing to do, especially after a long day or a busy week.
I lay on the couch and turn on my favorite tv series I’m watching at the time and catch up on some episodes and just relax. Or take a nap, whatever I’m in the mood for at the time. I don’t get to do nothing often so when I can, I take advantage of it.
when should i start focusing on myself?
ASAP! The sooner you start making time to focus on yourself, the better! Start making a place on your calendar at home or on your phone in order to make it a priority!
Make a plan as to what you’re values are so that you can plan accordingly when you’re making time for yourself. Are you trying to crush some goals to pushed to the side or are you looking for relaxation and a bit of peace and quiet?
Try to choose a day or days that you can be consistent with so that way this can become a routine for you. Doing it this way will also better help you plan your activity or rest times and gives you something to look forward to just for you.
Benefits of focusing on yourself as a mom
There are many benefits you’ll gain when you choose to focus on yourself as a mom. It helps you to create balance and set healthy boundaries between you and your family. By giving a little time to yourself, you are able to give more of yourself to your loved ones.
You’ll feel happier and more in tune with yourself. You may be able to find purpose and passion again. You’ll reach goals you never thought you would be able to accomplish and feel more in control of your life.
You will finally be making yourself a priority. This is something that has probably been a long time in the making but is long overdue.
You will get more of your needs met! You can get more done once to start making time for yourself.
This was the best decision I could have done for, not only myself but my family. It has really helped me emotionally and mentally be a better person and a better mother and wife.
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